Reduced Fat Pringles: We are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.

Posted: December 13, 2012 | Author: Jill Orr | Filed under: humor | Tags: dieting, food, humor, pringles, Taylor Swift |4 Comments

I remember when we broke up

The first time

Saying this is it, I’ve had enough

‘Cause, like,

I bought you thinking that you’d last a month

Then I

Snarfed you

In one

Night.

(What?)

 

Then I heard you beckon from the store,

Baby,

I love you and I swear you’ll stay a four!

Trust me.

Remember how I ate you in a day?

I say,

I hate you

we break up,

Pms hits,

I love you.

 

Oooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh

We called it off again last night

But oooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh

This time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go straight to my hips,

Straight to my ass,

muffin top!

So we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Like, ever…



 

I’m really gonna miss your salty taste

And me,

gorging and then feeling so disgraced

And then,

You drop down to a dollar ninety-nine,

If I promise I’ll buy two cans at the same time.

 

Ooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh

You called to me again tonight

But ooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh

this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You make me feel so full,

I lose control,

I pig out!

So we are never ever ever ever getting back together

.

 

I used to think,

that we,

were forever ever

And I used to say

never say never

 

Huh, you sit in my pantry all crispy and delicious

And i’m like,

 i’m just,

I mean this is exhausting, you know?


 

Ooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh

We called it off again last night

But ooooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-ooh this time

I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You are not a real food

You are fake food

You just suck!

So we are never ever ever ever getting back together!

---