Things I Sometimes* Wish I Never Taught My Kids

  1. To talk.
  2. To crack the eggs into the batter. (Pancakes are not supposed to be crunchy.)
  3. Sarcasm. I just love it when the kids do as I do, not as I say…
  4. To play games on my cell phone.
  5. To read. (If you’ve ever seen a billboard in the state of Missouri, you’re with me on this one.)
  6. To say please. (See When Good Words Go Bad.)
  7. To expect that meals will be prepared for them. Everyday.
  8. The words ‘mine,’ ‘no,’ ‘jiggly,’ and ‘bottom.’
  9. To tell knock-knock jokes. (And expect me to laugh.)
  10. To spell.  (It’s total b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t that my husband I no longer have a covert means of communication.)
  11. To listen to the radio. (Thankyouverymuch, Katy Perry, for teaching my seven-year old what a menage-a-trois is.)
  12. How to tell time. (I sometimes* ache for the days I could say “It’s bedtime!” at 5:30.)
  13. To use the word ‘really’ as a question.
  14. To use the DVR. (I now have approximately 97 hours of Phineas & Ferb available for my viewing pleasure.)
  15. That there is no such thing as a stupid question. (As it turns out, there is.)
* Varies by hormonal levels, how much chocolate I’m depriving myself of, and hours of sleep logged in any given 24 hour period.
Author’s Note: I apologize for the abundance of parenthesis in today’s post. (I guess I was just in a parenthetical sort of mood.)


12 Comments on “Things I Sometimes* Wish I Never Taught My Kids”

  1. Chrissy says:

    Love it!

  2. needavacay says:

    I relate!!! 100%!

  3. Mary Gold says:

    As always Jill, you make me smile! Thanks, MG

  4. 97 hours of Phineas and Ferb???!!! I’m jealous!! I LOVE that cartoon! Our DVR was full of every episode of iCarly known to man……..Thank goodness we had to compromise and get rid of all of those to make room for full length movies to DVR and then record on to discs!!

    • Jill Orr says:

      It’s true – Phineas and Ferb is the best ever. The remaining 3 hours on our DVR, are dedicated to iCarly and Victorious – so I hear you on that one! Thanks for reading (& commenting)! 🙂

  5. Scott Orr says:

    Awesome! Love it. Right on. Sorry we can’t start over with your sage advice!

  6. Doc says:

    What is Phineas and Ferb? When my kids were growing up we had cassette tapes (do you even know what they are?) full of Sesame Street. Can’t begin to tell you how much I learned from watching those shows! Love your post. But boy do I feel old!

  7. Shauna says:


  8. […] was reading a bloggers list of things she sometimes wishes she never taught her children; check her out she seems very amusing.  I remain very amused […]

  9. artjen1971 says:

    Hilarious! I have certainly experienced most of those!

  10. bullyadragon says:

    I couldn’t find a single item on your list that I didn’t completely agree with. I seem to vaguely recall thinking that things would be easier when they got older. How very wrong I was.

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