And The Award For Best Dramatic Performance by an Abandoned 8 year-old Girl Goes to…

Today the Oscar nominations were announced. It was pretty much a roundup of the usual suspects: Meryl Streep, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Woody Allen, etc. An impressive and deserving lot. But every year certain people get overlooked. I’ve recently seen a performance that would rival any of those that were nominated today. It was a performance so penetrating, so nuanced, so expert – that I can hardly believe it wasn’t in contention for the industry’s top honor. And it was carried out by my own flesh and blood, the fruit of my loins, the apple of my eye… my daughter Ellie, 8.  She wrote, directed and starred in this performance of a young girl’s struggle after being cruelly abandoned by her parents. For 7 days.

I know it’s tacky when parents take credit for their kids success, but in this case I believe we truly were her inspiration. You see, each year my husband and I go on a week’s vacation sans kids. And it was this event that proved the catalyst for her performance, so wounded was she by the betrayal.

It is a tale as old as time: Parents go away for a little R&R, kids are sad, parents come back, kids are happy. But to a dramatic genius (as she is being called by some industry insiders), this tired plotline was elevated and imbued with new life! Armed with nothing more than an iPod Touch and a free text messaging app, the young Miss Orr delivered a visceral, haunting portrait of a girl left behind by her parents with nothing but the love of her grandparents, her house, all her clothes & toys, more than enough food to eat, at least one shopping trip to Toys r Us, and more than one outing to McDonald’s. It’s a wonder she survived.

Here is a look (actual transcript):

i am crying i miss u. when I hear your voice it makes me eve sadder i am crying in bed and nobody knows it i am crying and i don’t want anybody to know and i am under my covers I really miss u and wish u would come back soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly. i am so upset i could scream out Loud in tears. and its not funny. fletcher is not showering and papa says its ok. i am not having a good time. i having a horrible terrible time and i will the whole week. i wish you never left.

And that was not even the highlight of the performance. Realizing her pleas were not having the desired effect of us hoping on the next flight home, she dug down deeper to produce an even more compelling portrait of a girl slowly unraveling:

Nobody knows i am crying but tears are dripping down my face and i feel soooooooo sad i love you ☹ ☹ ☹ My hair is wet from tears i’m so sad. WHY DID YOU LEVE. What time is it? sniff. It is 9:24 here. Bye i will cry to fall asleep Oh i wish you were here. i can’t fall asleep. Me and flootch are both crying waaaaaaaaaa. Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????? Still sad…… u said u would call us No Please Answer the phone i am waiting for u to call. Ddaad. i am so sad your having a good time and we are having a horrid time

And my favorite part, was toward the end of the performance, when – spurred on by our claims that maybe talking to us on the phone was making things worse, her desperation reaches frenzied heights and she responds with:

i am as sad as a hippo that stayed awake for 70 years. can you answer your face time. Please. i am calling you. i am in your bed and i don’t smell anything that smells like you and. i’m sooooooo sad . can’t you just come back

i miss u so much

i am balling

It is poring

Now if that isn’t an Oscar worthy performance, I don’t know what is…

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9 Comments on “And The Award For Best Dramatic Performance by an Abandoned 8 year-old Girl Goes to…”

  1. Shauna says:

    Now that was some funny stuff!

  2. rockitalian says:

    Poor MIss Orr:( She is quite the performer. Very funny:)

  3. Holly says:

    Hilarious. She is so much funnier than Brad Pitt.

  4. Scott Orr says:

    Guilty as charged! I doled out and witnessed the cruel treatment she received all week as the mean and vicious guardian of this pathetic abandoned child. However, I regularly peeked and caught her between “acts” as she brilliantly prepared for the next scene, all of which truly were oscar deserving performances! Watch out hollywood, Jill is right on; a star truly is born! Papa

  5. Jen Montgomery says:

    Oh my goodness! I would love to see Ellie turn her performance into some type of rap song as well! That is fabulous!! It’s good to be a little emotional… right??! Love you all!

  6. Jessica says:

    Oh my word this is so funny! Your Ellie and my Ellie would be fantastic friends. Same age nearly! This is what she does to me when I go out of town as well. Maybe I need to arm her with a texting device next time I leave town. You know, to document it. But then again, maybe not……

    • Jill Orr says:

      Yes – I would carefully think before arming your 8 year old with the ability to contact you at any time for any reason! You can learn from my mistakes… 🙂

  7. karlapr says:

    OMG. How did you handle it? I hope you laughed and it didn’t ruin your trip. Funny now (hilarious, actually), but maybe not so much when you were on vacation…? For a few years in a row when my kids were younger, my husband and I would go away for three or four days to a conference and leave the kids with my mom. I never worried about them, but I did worry about my mom! The kids were three or four-ish and were pretty difficult, the dynamic was not great. We usually did not find out the worst of it until we got home. I would have fun, but was somewhat on edge throughout. Haven’t done that for awhile… but the kids do go to my in-laws for a week in the summer now and all seems grand. Such a relief…

  8. bubblyfriend says:

    i am as sad as a hippo that stayed awake for 70 years. can you answer your face time. Please. i am calling you. i am in your bed and i don’t smell anything that smells like you and. i’m sooooooo sad . can’t you just come back

    i miss u so much

    i am balling

    It is poring

    —————————————-
    Seriously…..she is good!!! I love it all, but the above quote the most!!!!


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