At first I was afraid. I was petrified…

Posted: October 3, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

This post is an update on my one from last week, A Camping We Must Go. Due to the numerous calls, emails, and texts I received asking me if I survived my weekend camping trip, I have written an answer to the tune of  Gloria Gaynor’s iconic anthem, I Will Survive. Since this is the one of the best ladies-who-kick-ass songs of all times, I felt it only fitting. (It was also fitting because camping made my hair look much like Ms. Gaynor’s on her 1978 album cover.) I hope you will be able to hear the music in your head as you read…

At first I was afraid.

I was petrified.

Kept thinking I could never learn

how to sleep outside.

I spent oh so many nights

just stressing out about the trip

Then I said, “Crap,

And I put on my baseball cap,

And then I camped.

I f*#!ing camped!

We made a fire and roasted s’mores; we hiked a trial and peed outdoors.

I should have changed my stupid shoes,

I should have left my flats at home,

If I’d have known for just one second,

just how far we’d hike and roam.

 

But yeah, we went!

We pitched a tent!

I didn’t even bitch and moan; I did not show my discontent.

Burnt food and bugs, they tried to make me say goodbye,

But did I crumble?

Did I lay down and die?

Oh, no not I!

I testified!

As long as I stayed cool and dry, I knew that I’d get by.

My next vacation,

I will spa.

But for now,

I say hurrah…

Because I camped,

I f*@!ing camped,

Hey, hey!!!!